Not So Positive Thinking

Two auditions at 10 am today - Sacramento Music Circus's summer season, and a 50^th Anniversary tribute concert of an iconic American musical. I go with the former because it's close, in Connecticut, and more suited to my the type than the singing heavy musicals like Sweeney Todd and Evita at SMC. But if things go quickly, maybe I can hit both.

I signed up a week before and I show up before 9:30 so I'm in the first group. It is a rare coed call, and surprisingly, there are more boys than girls, since many ladies chose SMC.

A few minutes after ten we enter the room. The choreographer explains that the director is in a production meeting next door, so after we learn the combination, instead of making cuts as usual, we will be sent out to wait while the other groups learn. Annoying.

Even more annoying 45 minutes later, after all three groups have learned the combination, we are brought back in and told the director is still in his meeting, so let's just run the dance a few more times to stall. Because we have nothing better to do apparently.

I'm sorry, but when you arrange for over 100 unemployed dancers to be at a certain location, dressed and warmed up at a certain time, you owe them the respect of pausing your meeting with your set designer that could be held at any time and walking a few studios over and not wasting our time.

But I am trying to be positive, so I patiently perfect my routine, and within ten minutes the director graces us with his presence.

We do the simple ballet, but I hop on the double pirouette, almost falling out of it. After they explain his is a concert version and we are looking for very specific roles (all the more reason not to keep us waiting), I am cut. So I could have been cut for not being the desired type. But I am furious at myself for biffing the pirouette. The floor was slippery and the step into the turn awkward, but come on, I've been doing double pirouettes for like 20 years now, I take ballet multiple times a week where I execute them without a problem, so why do I screw it up now when it matters?

In the elevator, a fellow dancer is fuming. He complains about the wasted hour. I join in, condemning the director's rudeness. He notes the kept dancers weren't great anyway. I agree. Now I am angry at the director and not at myself. And that's okay. Lesson for the day: If you can't be positive, blame someone else, or the screwy system. I'm not lazy, and I shouldn't beat myself up. I wouldn't want to work for that jerk anyway.